I screw men for money. Not literally, think phone sex operator with a 15 megapixel web cam thrown in. They tell me their deepest, darkest fantasies while paying me $6.99 a minute.
What would possess me to engage in such a business? Throw in a tortured past, 24/7 murderous thoughts, and a desire to keep the innocent people of my small town safe.
I was contained, out of the way, sexcamming my way to utter obscurity until HE came along. A twisted client armed with a target’s name. Annie. And in that name, everything changed.
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
*ARC Given to Blog for Honest Review*
4 “snap.” Kisses
Sometimes you need a book that knocks you for a loop. A book that surprises you because you like it, even if you’re not sure why. A book that doesn’t sugar coat things, where it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, it’s raw and gritty and real. This is not your traditional romance…to be honest, it’s really not a romance at all…but it’s a fantastically written gripping story that I don’t think has ever been written before (at least not from this angle and with the twists that it had) and it kept me entranced from beginning to end.
‘Jessica. Not my real name. He thought he knew me. They all thought they knew me.’
We meet Jessica…even though that’s not her real name, that’s what she goes by her in cam chats. It’s easier to pretend like you’re somebody you’re not when you use a different name. She’s twisted. She’s complex. She’s dark. She’s unlike any character I’ve ever read and I really liked her. Grew to love her by the end of the book. We follow her along as she lives her life, meet some of her different clients and see interactions…it honestly intrigued me! You don’t read the diary of an online video chat girl every day, I kinda felt like a voyeur, getting a sneak peak at something I wouldn’t normally understand.
‘One day, when I lose my daily battle and go on a killing spree, people will want to know why. Why sweet little Deanna Walker ‘snapped’. The journal will help people understand not why, but how. How I am, how my mind works. It has all the typical pieces to become a Lifetime movie. I wonder who will play me. I’d like it to be anyone but Lindsey Lohan. That bitch is crazy.’
Jessica’s real name is Deanna Walker. She has a past, a horrible tragic scarred past that has led her down to the life she has led for the past three years. She’s in her own personal prison, locked away from the world to protect others. Why? Because she’s a killer. You would think that’s an exaggeration, it’s really not. You would think that would make you not like her, it doesn’t. Despite her eccentric tendencies, strange habits and unconventional career, she’s hilarious, she’s down to earth, she’s logical (in a twisted way that made sense to me) – she’s not going to win the goodie goodie award any time soon, but she does have some surprises up her sleeve.
‘When there is evil in someone it grows, unattended by all and fielded by its harborer. I knew that, I felt it, each and every day, growing stronger inside of me till one day – snap – it would take control and every logical thought process, every thought of survival and preservation would disappear, and I would be a loose cannon, fired and on my path of destructfulness, with nothing but my own doom ahead of me, and the demise of whoever lay in my final path.’
I really don’t know what to call this book because while it has aspects of sex and…something else, not sure what to call it – but this book is not a romance. It’s really hard to tell you too much about the story without giving key parts away. But the writing is almost hypnotic, you think you shouldn’t be reading it (maybe) but you can’t stop reading it! Most of the book is from Dee’s POV, but you get sprinklings of other characters like Jeremy, Annie and Carolyn. It was all really fluid, never got confused with the POV changes – even in the chapters where she switched back and forth multiple times between Deanna and Jeremy.
‘I think that maybe God had a plan for me all along.’
This book will always be the original title in my mind, ‘On Me, In Me, Dead Beneath Me’ – mainly because that name really does suit it very well. Not that I don’t love the new title, I do – as soon as I read the line in the book where the title came from it made me smile, but the original title is what grabbed me and practically forced me to read the book in the first place. I loved Alessandra’s first book, so I had a feeling even though the topic was different, I was going to be pretty set with the writing style.
I liked the way the ending fell together and honestly the last chapter surprised me. In the best way possible. I wasn’t sure how it was going to end through most of the book, by it left me smiling and hopeful. Which for a book about some pretty dark and twisted topics, I’d say that’s a win. 🙂
I finished this book last night and the only sentence I can form is…WTF did I just read?!?! I am not sure what I was expecting, but what I read definitely wasn’t it. Ok, I guess I need to clarify a little here. I was not disappointed…well, maybe a little but that’s not the author’s fault. I love to read romance so this story was a shocker to my system. There is ABSOLUTELY no romance here!!! But have no fear, there is still a HEA 🙂 I know, that makes no sense!
What you do have is a young lady(hmmm…should we call her a lady??) who has a tragic past and a screwed up belief of self-worth. Along the way she(Deanna) has also picked up a very interesting choice of occupation. I had never heard of camming until reading this story. I guess I would have just called it porn but now I see that there is a specific name for the kind that is talked about and described in this story. I guess the saying that you learn something new every day is correct and camming was my new bit of information yesterday.
For those who don’t know what camming is, I will fill you in. Camming is a form of porn where a female pleasures a guy by doing things to herself on video while he watches. Interesting, huh??!! Well, it does get more interesting when you throw in the fact that Deanna has not left her house in 3 years because she believes she was passed down the killer gene from her mother, the UPS guy(Jeremy) is attracted to her but she tried to kill him and she finds herself caught up in a police investigation!!
“The whole – Tarzan woman, whooping and jumping off the bed at me – thing you did. What was your goal in getting my box cutters?” ~Jeremy
“It’s really sad that you don’t know what my intent was.” ~Deanna
“To kill me.” ~Jeremy
“Good. Smart boy.” ~Deanna
Yes, she is freakin’ crazy!! And he is even crazier for coming back for more. Jeremy is a sweet guy who thinks he needs to save Deanna but finds out he is the one in danger. I don’t think I know a single guy who would have ever come back after their first encounter! There are lots of things going on in this story and it could get a little confusing to some people. I had a few moments that I was thinking there were too many names and too much going on but it all ended up making sense in the end. Almost every character was of importance and made a difference in who Deanna becomes in the end.
“He stood when he saw me, his strong arms reaching for me and crushing me into a hug, a hug that I didn’t want, didn’t need, until the moment I was touched.” ~Deanna
This story was absolutely nothing like what I expected but I can honestly say that I got sucked in, couldn’t put it down and really enjoyed it.
Alessandra has an awesome givewaway going on right now – up for grabs is:
One of three $20.00 Amazon Giftcards
One of three ecopies of Blindfolded Innocence
Grand Prize is a Kindle Fire
Alessandra Torre is an exciting new author who astonished the publishing world with the success of her first novel, Blindfolded Innocence. Initially self-published, the intriguing romance and erotica title quickly rose to the top of the charts on Kindle and Amazon and attracted the interest of major publishing houses. Currently available on Kindle, iBookstore and Nook, Blindfolded Innocence will be available in print in 30 different countries through Harlequin Publishing in June 2013.
Torre’s captivating story about a young intern’s sexual awakening has won praise and rave reviews from numerous critics, bloggers and book reviewers, including the acclaimed Dr. Laura Berman. In her recent article“35 to Read After 50″ in Everyday Health, Dr. Berman recommended Blindfolded as a must-read for book enthusiasts searching for a new fix after Fifty Shades of Grey. The book has also received high marks from readers on Goodreads and other literary web sites where fans frequently remark they can’t wait for a Blindfolded sequel!
Momentarily stunned by the book’s rapid success and loyal following, Torre is currently at work on a thriller that will be released in the next two months as well as a sequel to Blindfolded. From her home near the tranquil warm waters of the Emerald Coast in Florida, she devotes several hours each day to various writing projects and interacting with her fans on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Happily married to her “best friend” and with one son, she loves watching SEC football games, horseback riding, reading and watching movies.